One of the worlds most prolific sending machines in NZ!
The Smoon is back!
From the perpetual winter of Sweden. It's only for a few weeks, he hasn't climbed in months due to the snow, he's bloated with beer and it's a family trip, but I'll be doing our best to throw him on some stuff while he's here.
He has always been pretty low key about his achievements (cause his face doesn't look good in photos) so unless you are old skool most of the young punks nowadays probably don't even know the legendaryness of the Smoon, despite him having one of the most impressive recorded ticklists in the world.
At current count he has sent over 300x 8as (29), over 100x 8a+ (30) and 50x 8b (31) + some hard stuff.
You will struggle to find any climber (with the obvious exception of Mr 8a himself Dani Andrada) who is even close to his massive number of sends in the 8a/8a+ range. (417x) Not bad for an old man who isn't even a full time climber.
As a comparision from 8a.nu top all time ranking list (This is the guys from the top 20 with the most routes in this range)
Adam Ondra 360x 8a/8a+
Tino Lois 282x 8a/8a+
Ramon Julian 261x 8a/8a+
Joe Kinder 142x 8a/8a+
Cedric Lo Piccolo 138x 8a/8a+
Dave Graham 127x 8a/8a+
Tomas Mrazek 100x 8a/8a+
Patxi Usobiaga 92x 8a/8a+
And yes we all know the Smoon only has them crushed because he doesn't try the really hard stuff as he's a lazy bastard!
But he does love climbing, and even from the early Auckland days he would never like to spend anytime working routes, preffering to climb and send as many routes as possible quickly.
In fact I believe the longest he has ever spent working a climb was for the first ascent of the legendary Frogatt route "Built to Last" (8a+/30). Which he originally tried to grade 27.
So if you see him around in the next month (he's the old grumpy one) tell him it's time to stop pussying around on these easy routes, spend more than 2 days on something and send 8c+/9a before he retires!
Some more crazy numbers to finish that show you how quickly he whips these out. He has onsighted 25x 8a and 2x 8a+ which is pretty impressive. But an incredible 98x 8a, 36x 8a+ and 7x 8b 2nd go!
When is he here? For the AKL Boulder Comp? Thats apparently being 'graced' with two of NZ's top boulderers? :-D
Ha ha ha. The Smoon has done every problem at the quarry harder than v6 in a day before whilst drinking beers the whole time.. We will be scrabbling around in the dirt at The Cave that day anyway.
Surely you need to get him to Little babylon?
That would sure be nice (Cause I'd love to go too!) but since it's a family trip Milford is a little too far. There is only going to be any climbing at all because I have volunteered as belay bitch.
I think what is interesting is how many of those routes 8a and above he did 2nd go !!
His ascent of that 8c route in 1996 may have been the first 8c by a kiwi (not sure when Derek first climbed one)
I think it was the first 8c by a Kiwi. Derek sent Kaz's Project (33+) at the cave in September 2007. Scott sent "Canlar Senin Icin Caliyor" 8c(33) in Sweden 2006. He has done a second 8c as well but downgraded it to 8b+.
Psh there's lots of stuff Scott's not done at the Quarry Regan! You're all arms legs and jibber jabber! Cave it up! JFM reckons the routes there are soft...
The Smoon is the quarry master. He's literally done everything. Every climb and boulder problem of every grade that existed up to when he left. The only exception is the full traverse (In either direction). He's pretty handy on the old traditional climbing as well, sending up to 8b trad.
And I'm sure I'm going to find the cave mind numbingly pumpy and won't be able to get up anything.
He sounds hot. Is he single?
This is a five-star thread so far. Thanks everyone.
He's hot if you like bald guys with huge beer guts. Unfortunately some other lucky lady has already snapped him up JP.
Does Emily know about your fetish?
Ok heres The Smoon's ticklist so far: (Just the harder ones)
Ahl i Najasa (27) - Kewa Flash
Rubble (27) - The Cave Flash
The Good Bastard (27) - Al Cap Onsight
The Complete Bastard (27) - Al Cap Onsight
Righteous (27) - Al Cap Onsight
Continuous Play (27) - Al Cap Onsight
Tuffer (27) - Al Cap Onsight
Double Major Dropout (28) - Froggatt 2nd Go
Master of my own World (28) - Kewa Flash
Fly (28) - Kewa Flash
Ikarus (28) - Kewa 2nd Go
Groundhog Day (28) - The Cave Flash
Pick Pocket (28) - Wanaka 2nd Go
Pocket Fish (28) - Froggatt 2nd Go
Dr Evil (28) - Froggatt 2nd Go
Attack Surge (29) - The Cave 2nd Go
Mainlining (29) - Al Cap 2nd Go
Maddog Hine (30) - Froggatt 2nd Go
Tormentum Vigilae (30) - Al Cap 2nd Go
Vasoconstricter (30) - Al Cap 2nd Go
Troglodyte (30) - The Cave Flash
Nosferatu (31) - The Cave 3rd Go
Dracula (31) - The Cave 2nd Go
Buffy (32) - The Cave
Blood Lust (32) - The Cave
Space Boy Extension (32) - The Cave
Not too shabby for not being a real climbing trip, but it could have been better.. Unfortunately travelling around the world with a one year old is not congusive to sleeping, any night, at all. (I can attest to the noise level...) And he is just as lazy as ever.
One day at the Cave he sat around all day complaining it was too hot, then at 5pm finally decided to warm up with a flash attempt at Space Boy, falling in the roof past the Iron Cross move. Then he sat around and whinged for another 2 hours, pulled out a second climb of the day flash of Troglodyte and then it was onto beers. We were loving the Wigram Brewing Company!
He's still here but looks like the weather is not so good around Queenstown and anything hard he hasn't done is a bit inaccessable with a baby on board so prob not much more climbing. I think he's drinking himself to sleep in a spa pool in Wanaka now.
The man is undoubtedly a total beast. Or "wad" if we were in the UK and conversing on ukB. But can you seriously continue to report his visit to NZ as a non-climbing trip when he's obviously done so much climbing? I mean, it's not like you'd visit the Cave for any other reason :)
The man is undoubtedly a total beast. Or "wad" if we were in the UK and conversing on ukB.
Oh no.....another word that has 2 absolutely completely different meaning for Brits and Amis! Or, more specifically, one that the Amis would also consider "inappropriate"
(Amis = Americans ...for those not familiar with german slang)
All of that is from 13 days climbing out of I think 35 days here so far. He's climbing while here but it certainly ain't no climbing trip.
The Cave of course was the logical choice to try hard routes where we could be back to the family within half an hour. He is a beast though but I thought he generally looked pretty shit compared to when on form. Which was kind of scary really..
I really liked the Cave. Not sure why people don't like it.. In fact I'm going back.. Sssh 
That's a mint ticklist thus far.
Where's yours and FM's lists? :-D
Nothing for me I suck. Fell off the last move of "Pocket Fish" another two times today. That must be at least ten times I've fallen there now. One day I might actually stick the hold..
Scott flies out tomorrow so thats the finished list above for this trip.
Interesting how Dr Evil (28)? I guess the variance in grades at that level can be quite large?
Tough luck on Pocket Fish regan... Is it harder than Master of My Own World? For you, probably? But for others? Curious... MoMOW feels easier to me, by about a grade ish. Yet to try Dr Evil though. Keen to try in next few months maybe when fingers get into better shape...
Scott thought basically the same as most on "Dr Evil" and "Pocket Fish". That Evil is clearly the easier of the two but they were still basically the same grade. Just at different ends. Evil has harder individual moves but there are a lot less of them. "Pocket Fish" is a hard 28 no doubt about that, but it's not quite hard enough to be 29 at Froggatt.. and though some strong guys like JP might find it easy, realistically the moves on "Dr Evil" are harder than 27 even though it's easier. Its a pretty good example of the width in a grade.
I don't actually find Pocket Fish particularly difficult, I just can't finish it off! Basically done the damm thing over ten times now and usually two or three times to the last move each day on. Normally fairly fresh to the last move as well, it's just a really awkward body position as I can't get my knee around to sidepull the final crimp pocket, so I'm falling off when I reach and my fingers just won't drop in the pocket.
Hard to say if "Master of my own World" is easier as I did it so quick and I've had lots of shots on this. So it seems that way, but if I didn't find the last move so akward on Pocket Fish I could lap it everytime and I definately couldn't do "Master" every time, the moves are too at the limit for me.
"Master" is definately harder than "Doctor Evil", harder moves and there are more of them. My feeling is the individual moves are also harder than "Pocket Fish" but that is a Power Endurance problem, every move is powerful and difficult right from the first to the last so you always have to work hard. "If you are good enough to pull the crux on "Master" than it will be an easier send.
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Fir enough!
However, the fact that you find the last move hard/awkward on Pocket Fish could be true testament that it is the hardest of the above mentioned three routes (considering all things equal, you find the rest of it piss for a reason which is likely related to why you find the last move awkward after having done all the other moves?) simply because you've had so many attempts.
Additionally, given that general consensus is Pocket Fish @ 28, MoMOW 'could' be 27 (a hard one, which it has to be as the 'crux section' is really only two moves, both of which are arguably 'harder' or 'just as hard' as anything on Pocket Fish / Dr Evil but they are literally the first two moves off the ground) and then the finish moves are easier than most moves on both Dr Evil and Pocket Fish...
Hmmm...I don't know... I don't think the grade variation can be 'that wide' without accepting the possibility a climb could well be a soft/hard of the adjacent 'grades'... I guess comparing 'difficulties' between crags is always tricky however the shortness of Dr Evil, Pocket Fish and MoMOW makes this comparison more feasable...
Based off my experience of P.F. and MoMOW, PF is a solid grade harder... I almost onsited MoMOW but let go because I didn't want to throw to the 'jug crimp' down low because of an injured finger (only able to open hand with three fingers...). Compared to Pocket Fish which took me 4 attempts (send was 2nd on the day) when I was bouldering a shitload harder... It 'could' be that both of us find MoMOW easier than P.F. but they are the same grade or that they are infact different grades.
So yep, back full circle to me debunking you and JFM's proposal that MoMOW is harder than even 28!
Bahaha :P Internet Dig! Sort your 8a scorecards. MoMOW FA 27! :-D
Ha ha. Yeah could be but could also not be.. I think if you can do all three routes, most people will find MOMOW harder than Dr Evil and Pocket Fish harder than MOMOW. Exceptions will abound. But none of that doesn't mean they are all the same grade. Especially since the concensus on Pocket Fish at 28 is that it is right at the upper end of the grade and Dr Evil is at the lower end.
Love the grade talks though ha ha. Scott and I spent 90% of our time talking about grades and at the end of the day the conclusion was that you win some and you lose some. Sometimes you find a route easy and sometimes you find it hard. And it will be different for the next guy. So unless you think something is more than a grade out (Say graded 28 when it is more like 26 or 30) it's not worth arguing about, just take the easy send or suck up that it was tough for you.
Couldn't agree more. Can't wait to get back into routes again...






Tell him to go to Extreme Edge, it's the most awesome climbing gym in the world... the whole world... Bahaha!
Get him on MoMW, he'll grade it 24. Which means 27... :-D